From Tuesday

Phone rings.

Josh: Hi, this is Josh at Barely Legal.
Caller: (high, nasal voice) Hi. I'm looking for a doll with parts.
J: A doll with parts?
C: Yeah, a doll with all the parts. A little one.
J: Like a GI Joe?
C: No, with parts.
J: GI Joe has parts.
C: No, like all the parts. Organs.
J: Oh, yeah, like one of those transparent dolls, you know, you take 'em apart and they got intestines and hearts.
C: No, no, I already got one of them. No, like a little statue. You know where I can get one?
J: Maybe look on the internet?
C: I can't go to the internet. I need a statue.
J: You mean, like David?
C: Yeah, like David.
J: Oh, you need to call the Uffizi in Florence. They've got the David.
C: How big is it?
J: I dunno. About eight feet.
C: I need a little one.
J: They got little ones too. You know, for tourists.
C: That's in Italy?
J: Yeah, Florence in Italy.
C: I can't call Italy.
J: Maybe you can go to your library. They got pictures of David there.
C: Yeah, I can't go to the library. I'm in New York. No, I need a doll here.
J: You tried Times Square?
C: Where in Times Square?
J: I dunno. Never been there.
C: What about in California? That's where you are, right?
J: I don't know, I never bought a statue.
C: No, what about a doll.
J: Barbie?
C: Yeah, like Barbie, but a man.
J: Oh, you mean Ken! Ken's the boy version of Barbie.
C: Yeah, but with the parts.
J: You mean outfits?
C: No, no, all the parts. Where can I get one with all the parts?
J: I dunno. Hasbro?
C: Hasbro?
J: Yeah, I think they make Barbie.
C: No, look, I saw this statue once, it had all its organs, right?
J: Where'd you see it?
C: Somebody in my family had it.
J: Oh, you should ask them then.
C: No, but they're gone.
J: Where did they go? Do they have a cell phone?
C: They're dead.
J: Oh, then you're gonna have to check the will.
C: Look, no, that doll, that doll is gone.
J: Where do you think they got it?
C: I don't know. That's why I'm asking you. Look…
J: Yeah?
C: I got this other doll, he's got his parts. He's throwing a discus. I want this other doll to put next to him.
J: A discus? That's in the Olympics.
C: Yeah, OK. But he's got all his parts.
J: Right. You should try the Olympics. Maybe get a guy with a javelin.
C: They got statues?
J: Why not? You watch the Olympics?
C: No.
J: It was pretty good. It was in China this time.
C: Yeah, yeah, I heard that. Now…
J: Beijing. It was on NBC.
C: I heard that. But what I'm really asking about is a doll.
J: I bet they got Olympic dolls.
C: Where?
J: I dunno. Toys 'R Us?
C: You think they got Olympic dolls there with all the parts?
J: Yeah, with the javelin and the discus, sure.
C: No, like, their other parts…
J: Olympics! Glad I could help. (hangs up)