Sunday, March 13, 2011

New developments in the world of Twosquare

As most of you don't realize, the inaugural season of two-square just wrapped up, ending just before the blue ball to which we have all become so accustomed broke.

Unfortunately, the end of the season corresponded with the arrival of Steichmann's parents, and in the subsequent cleaning, it is believed that the final scores of the last six games of the season were lost. It is known that Carson and Josh split the day, with three wins apiece, and for record keeping purposes, they have been assigned scores of 21 to 19 in three game chunks. We can only hope that scholars of the future somehow uncover the records of these early two-square games.

It is also remembered that Carson made some pretty impressive plays off the wall in the set, despite being totally sore from racquetball.

The season lasted 49 games, plus four exhibition matches, and involved three competitors: Amy, Carson and Josh. With Amy ultimately deciding that her playing days were over in the world of competitive twosquare, she has moved on from the sport, but tells us she'll be back often to play in exhibition matches, as well as acting as a line judge and coach. All the best, Amy!

We at the league would like to congratulate Carson on receiving the "Rookie of the Year" award, as well as acknowledge his current high score of 26, which we're sure will stand for many years to come. His off-the-wall antics mask an impressive dedication to backspin discipline.

So, what's new?

New balls!

Now twosquare involves a choice of balls! The smaller, green official "foursquare" size, and the larger, red "playground" size.

"After last season's constant jokes about 'blue balls,' we knew we had to do something to keep that going. Both will be acceptable for league play, but the choice will be noted in the records," said commissioner Steichmann.

Visitors will be given preference in deciding which balls to use, with a minimum of smirking.

New players!

Amanda "Soft Hands" Colligan played her first six games last week, and she's already making a name for herself with her polite and gentle play. Can she be goaded into more aggression? She's a twosquare competitor worth observing at some point in the indefinite future, as Howard Cosell would say! Match details to follow!

New chalk!

From the RiteAid. It's OK for chalk, I guess.

An ongoing quixotic quest to make a twosquare home game!

Perhaps a tabletop RPG based on GURPS? Or just a boardgame with maybe some dice and stuff? Would anyone actually play it? What if they were really drunk?

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