Thursday, December 02, 2010

What should I buy with my $100?

So, Google keeps sending me this:

Get more of the right type of visitors to your site with Google ads

Redeem this $100 coupon code to try AdWords today: YTDP-XPPC-JWDF-4KV4-52
Coupon remains valid until 12/17/2010.

Dear Google Analytics User,
There's still time to take advantage of the $100 offer that we recently sent you. Redeem this coupon before December 17, 2010 and you'll receive $100 of free AdWords advertising.
You may already be familiar with AdWords, the 3 line text ads that appear next to Google search results. With AdWords you can reach people when they're looking for the type of product, service, or content that you offer.
Google AdWords is performance-based so you only pay when someone clicks on your ad and connects to your website. Give it a try, and increase your web traffic on us.
Redeem your free $100 offer now by going to
Your unique coupon code: XXX-XXX-XXX-X-XX-XXX (valid until 12/17/2010)
The Google Analytics Team

I don't make any money off of this blog — I only put adwords on it because for a long time, having small, never noticed GoogleAds was the only way to get Analytics, and I masturbate to graphs of the twelve pageviews I get each day. So aside from bringing in some new, confused readers to spam my comments with Chinese characters that lead to incomprehensible virus-laden linkfarms, there's no real benefit.

But $100!

Obviously, I should buy "mesothelioma," since that's the SEO hotness, right? What else? "Brobdinagian"? "Fart-huffer"? "Steichmann," on the off chance anyone ever searches for it? "Costume jewery"? Can I be the number one search result for "lickspittle"? "Analog hug machine"? "Bullshit"?

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